TIPS TO MAN UP IN YOUR LATE TWENTIES.

Late twenties is an interesting stage in life, if Life is Nairobi, late twenties is definitely Tom Mboya soo much to do with soo little space…Kimathi street is the menopause, so much has already been achieved. At late twenties you have many tricky balances to make, soo much baggage from college, hordes of expectations and an ego to pamper. At this stage, some of your age mates are already running stuff in town while others have migrated to some rural town to work for the water and sewerage companies or Equity bank-no offense Walter.

At late twenties, you should have risen above waiting for ‘Nganyas’ in the matatu stage.Thats too high school, age should have taught you that Matatus exist to move people from point A to B not to offer entertainment. And while at it, you better start in dentifying pubs outside city centre. It’s time to realize that those who cut big deals drink in Hurligham, Mombasa road and the enigmas like Wambugu’s, Tamasha and Njuguna’s. It’s embarrassing to be 30 and still arguing with bouncers in Bettyz, UON students in Heartz or mohawk kids in Roast house and steps. At 30, you should have realized that the dance floor is a public property just like Uhuru Park; Learn how to do your jig with maturity, for ladies dancing with a stranger is not sleeping with him, cut the attitude and accept a few decent swings. It’s unfair to carry all your decorum to the dance floor; honestly, people don’t go there to audition for church choirs! For men, while approaching 30, learn to accept defeat, it’s embarrassing to keep on following some high school crush to just settle some scores, fighting for a woman is just too 1994, just rise above that emotion that people call love, recognize it and cherish it, and before I forget..if you still walk around town with earphones……chances are you have low sperm count.

At late twenties, start going to a church. It’s no longer cool to watch movies the whole Sunday. You may not be there for conviction sake but image is everything. Drop that talk about people in church being hypocrites and accept some nagging facts about religion. As you get married, your kids would want a place to go to every Sunday that will definitely not be your home pub. Learn to say a prayer, ebu imagine a wife who can’t pray for tea when you go to shags…God tends to favour women, it’s advisable to get a religious wife. Very soon you will have kids who will be taught to pray before doing anything..including peeing, this will be done by those ever religious Kindergarten teachers. So it’s just futile to continue criticizing how pastors make money.si we are all in town to make the f****g bucks…The four stars stand for ‘uckin’ so the word is actually fucking bucks. On matters church, it’s only sensible to avoid over conviction, I mean why move from Kahawa Sukari to JCC in Ngara and bypass all those churches. kwani your God resides in those Ngara hostels? Cut the fanaticism- Ngabu, no offense-I know its self interest. This stage requires a sense of maturity or pretense of maturity.

When your village mate dies, try showing up for those burial arrangements in Emaccra or Accra hotel. Life is a sucker; learn to play safe with your kinsmen. If you die…now this isn’t sexy, it’s your village mates who will be more concerned in getting your body to Awendo, anyone who have ever attended those meetings knows very well that its mostly a relatives affair, friends only show up on the burial day. So at this age, get a way of dealing with those patronizing aunts or the jealous cousins. If a relative has some harambee to roof his house, just Mpesa that punch, it won’t hurt much, they are your people, if you need funding for some India Kidney transplant, they are the people..The other lot that you nurse tuskers with in this city have their own people.

When walking the late twenties…take your time to watch news, part of being mature is being informed. Even though you are a medic, it makes sense to know who Francis Imbuga was, you should at least know that Desmond Tutu is a man or a woman not just ranting about Arsenal’s coach in 1997 premier league . Rise above the thinking that politics doesn’t affect you; it’s a sour sight when a man is watching those Mexican stuff with his wife at 9PM when Linda Ogutu is emphasizing points with her curves. If we decide to butcher each other like we are fond of doing. You will be a culprit, before you carry your ass from Kayole to Moyale UhuRuto army will have caught up with you…then women and kids will be safe in some UNicef camp in Syokimau…ebu imagine that.

At this stage just rise above your past glory, if you went to Alliance keep it to yourself..this town is ruled by better things than KCPE performance..and to UON&KU graduates, cut the pride, what matters in this town is the wallet size not the theories you crammed in Nyayo3 and ADD.the good old days of Obama/Clinton lectures at Taifa Hall are long gone. That was too preachy...

Lastly, at late twenties, get a backup plan…it may be in form of some 2nd year in KU or a student in colleges that offer twin courses like food&beverage, Clothing and Textiles or bakery & Pastry, think Magenta Institute of Journalism and hairdressing. It’s never that serious, as they say life is too short to keep on safely removing USB drives.